Why Can't We Believe We Are Beautiful?

How many of us go through life feeling unattractive, or never quite attractive enough?  How did we get like this?  Somehow it happens at a very young age, and one thing is for sure- it tends to last a lifetime.

We are considered vain just for thinking, and heaven forbid, speaking aloud about body image. We are dismissed as boastful or superficial for being concerned about our appearances, even in a world that seems unable to stop thinking about feminine beauty for even the length of a TV commercial.

But to feel good about the way we look is a sin. And if we do manage to feel pretty and not concerned about our looks, we are supposed to keep quiet about it. It is easier to say nothing than to put ourselves out there and be vulnerable.

We find it easy to be self-critical. THAT, is socially acceptable. Women bond with each other through our humility, listing all of our flaws effortlessly.

“My upper arms jiggle”

“My hips are too wide”

“My eyes are too small”

What DO we like about ourselves? Do we HAVE any favorite features? Whatever that is, if we are brave enough to say it, we feel we must counter it with something that we don’t like.  Just to prove we are not narcisstic.

Even female celebrities are quick to point out that they are not as hot as the public seems to think they are.  Anne Hathaway: “I have very large features on a very small head”. Even these women feel the need to reassure us that they are, like us, unhappy with the way they look.  Maybe this establishes them as “normal”.  After all, they wouldn’t want to appear conceited to believe that they are beautiful.

Thus begins the circle- if female celebrities feel unattractive, what chance do I, the average woman without access to their teams of stylists, have of actually being beautiful, or at least believing I am beautiful.  Allright, somewhat pretty?

We are taught that when the “average- looking” woman acts in ways that people expect a “beautiful” woman to act, she is subjected to intense scrutiny and criticism.  When Lena Dunham’s character on Girls seduces and impresses and older good looking man the critics were quick with “but she’s not hot enough!” 

So- it becomes dangerous to believe that we are beautiful or to even imply it.

Do you find yourself afraid to say something positive about yourself, your appearance, even silently to yourself?  Do you cringe, that for even thinking it, is to invite negative comments even from your own psyche?

On the other hand, you don’t want anyone telling you that you are ugly right?  Because on some level, beauty feels important, even when you would like it not to. Even when there are bigger, more important things going on in the world.  But let’s be honest, it is important to feel good about ourselves.

We are too caught up in these mixed messages. We are supposed to be modest, yet confident.  But it shouldn’t be immodest or arrogant to acknowledge when we are good at something. Or when we look good. We all have gifts that we should be proud of.  Sometimes, yes, we ARE pretty. Or attractive.  And sometimes we are just our normal everyday selves, which is still attractive and pretty, just not in a movie star, glamorous way.

Go ahead and let yourself feel like a princess like you did once, before society told you not to.

Go out on a limb and admit it- sometimes you are even hot!

 If you like what you have read- subscribe (the box is on the right)!