Is this what you say when someone wants to take your photograph?
This is the story of a portrait photographer who was terrified to get in FRONT of the camera.
Time to face facts. I am not the size I was when I graduated from college. And, well, I probably will never be again. Life happens. I got married, got a new job, moved to another state- all the things heart attacks are made of. Instead I put on weight. Then I had 2 kids. Did I mention that my younger child weighed 9 lbs 15 oz her very first time on the scale! I fed her well.
Why am I telling you this? Because like most people who have gained weight, I hide from cameras. Even a portrait photographer who knows all the tricks to making someone look good, gets where you are coming from.
As a result, I do not exist in photos for my children.
But recently I had a realization. I was being selfish.
There are almost no photos of me, because conveniently I am the one behind the camera. Someone has to be. But my children are always wanting photos with me, so is it fair that they don’t have any? They don’t care about my weight. They just want to have a lasting memory of us. They love me for who I am. 20, 40 or 60 years from now they are not going to look at a photo of me and say “You know, I am really glad I have this photo of my mom, but I wish she was 20 pounds thinner.”
If you feel this way too, why would you want to be professionally photographed? I believe being photographed is NOT about showing the world that you are beautiful, BUT about showing yourself. It is about a feeling. We want to feel beautiful and then have photographs to match that feeling. We want to look outwardly how we feel inside. My outward appearance does not match my inner self. Inside, I feel great. I feel happy that I have a wonderful family, friends, and a growing business that I built myself. But outside . . . who is this person? Where did she come from?
I have made a study in the last 2 years of posing and lighting women so they look and feel beautiful. And I couldn’t put it off any longer. I needed a self portrait. And boy was I nervous.
So I did myself up, pre-focused that camera, set the timer and ran to get into position. And when I checked the back of the camera, I needed to make adjustments. And adjustments. It isn’t easy to pose yourself when you can’t see yourself. But I made it happen. And I was happy that I did it.
So I have resolved to get in those photos with my kids, no matter if my hair isn’t perfect, or I haven’t put on makeup. But really, if only my eyes didn’t look shut all the time :( After all, my grandchildren deserve to make their own decisions about who they look like.
Take the plunge. You will feel beautiful. And these photos will be priceless to your future generations.
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