OMG - What have I done? I don’t belong IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA !
Why did I book my own photo shoot? In Paris?
Have you ever dreamed feeling like a model, feeling great about a photograph of yourself but let that voice in your head talk you out of it?
This is my journey experiencing the same emotions and thoughts you have when thinking about having your picture taken - the insecurities, the objections. All the reasons NOT to do it.
Today: The Reveal (I get to see the photos) (eeek!)
Part 1: Explored if I am worth it. Just me, not the girls. Not to mention the $$$. Find the full post HERE
Part 2: Wait! WEIGHT! Who doesn't consider this when they are about to be photographed? Find the full post HERE.
Part 3: Wait! I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR! Even though I have a closet full of things, do I really want to wear any of these? Find the full post HERE.
Part 4: The Photo Shoot: What it’s like to feel like a model for a day. Who thought it was a good idea to be photographed at dawn?! But it was at the Eiffel Tower… Find the full post HERE
It’s reveal day. Time for me to actually see the photographs that we created. Time for me to choose my favorites.
For me, this is more nerve wracking than the photo session. At least during the photo shoot I can imagine how great I look. Now I face the truth.
What if I don’t like what I see? What about all the mental work I have done on self acceptance, self love, self forgiveness. Will this create a downward spiral?
I can’t even pick out eyeglasses for myself because that is too much mirror time.
So- I had a crutch. Older daughter to the emotional rescue. We planned the reveal around 3 schedules, no wonder it took so long to happen….
Since Ashleigh is in California, we had to do the reveal via zoom, not in person. As a photographer, I love being in the same room as my client for the reveal because (selfishly) it is like Christmas morning for me. I get to watch my client unwrap herself and I get to feel the energy when she re-discovers herself and her beauty.
Fingers crossed….
Ashleigh opens with a video of the day starting with me getting my makeup done. OK, give yourself grace, it is before dawn and you are without makeup, it’s about the transformation….
Then, as we move on to the photos from the rest of the locations I am starting to relax. Happy with the photos on the Trocadero in front of the Eiffel Tower – in the dancing stills and video I look like I am having fun. Because I had no mirror the whole time (I was making outfit changes in the car) I didn’t really know how I looked, I was depending on Ashleigh (photographer), Cheryl (hair & makeup) and my daughter. As we progressed I was thrilled with the 30 or so photos that I saw of me. Even some of the closer up ones.
But this was a 2 minute video, what will I see when we start going over them one by one. You know, the time when we go right to the parts we don’t like and then nit-pick ourselves to death.
Surprise! I ended up with 20 photos that I love and will be proud to use both personally and for branding. They are a little skewed toward the epic Eiffel Tower photos, and I love the composition and the different looks, but I did get a balance between all the locations and outfits (even the dress that I wasn’t sure I was going to like). And I was surprised at how many of the closer up ones I liked.
Discoveries:
1. When I saw photos of myself side by side, I learned why I usually dislike photos of myself. I could compare all my angles and I figured out what, to me, is my best side. We are not models by profession, and once I got past age 12, I stopped spending a lot of time examining myself in the mirror, so how could I possibly know the best way for me to look in snapshots?
2. Trust the team. I had to trust everyone around me to make sure that I was looking good, especially because there was no mirror. I didn’t have the resources to edit myself, or double check what they were doing or telling me. And after all, I hired Ashleigh because I liked her portfolio.
3. Put a lot of thought into what to wear. Not only because I had to pack outfits for a foreign destination, but because if my outfits didn’t fit well, or flatter me- well Ashleigh can only do so much with posing & lighting. Bulky, ill- fitting clothes won’t do me any favors. As I was waiting for the reveal, in retrospect, I was wishing I had brought a jacket for the jumpsuit, a scarf for the dress (what was I thinking getting so many photos with bare arms?)
4. Be open to a new view of myself. So much of this was me pushing my comfort zone, it was interesting to see how others saw me. And there are a few things in these photos that are driving me a little nutty, but I am going to leave them and try to embrace and respect a new view of myself (externally as well as internally).
NEXT: The prints. Funny, now I am excited to receive my 20 printed photos (about 4 weeks) in a folio box with a canvas cover with the epic Eiffel Tower photo on the front.
And I’m planning where I am going to be scattering them around the house and studio. One is definitely going outside my closet.
Next up- the unveiling!
PHOTO CREDIT- My daughter who thought to capture screen shots of the reveal. She has captured moments of this whole adventure. (Thank heavens for the millennials who always think to capture EVERYTHING!)
It's about shining from the inside...
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xoxo
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Thank you.
3 Comments
Jul 18, 2018, 11:13:57 AM
Brenda Jankowski - Coming soon!
Jun 23, 2018, 2:31:21 AM
Rosita - I can't wait to see your fabulous pictures!
Jun 23, 2018, 1:31:20 AM
Rosita - I can't wait to see your fabulous pictures!